Thursday, March 7, 2013

Supplementing

I planned to breastfeed, but then again I planned a lot of things last week. I lost control over the induction, the birth, the everything having to do with my body, but for some reason I thought I'd have no problem with the whole breastfeeding thing.

 At the hospital, it looked like I was right. I was making colostrum, and despite my nipple tenderness that keeps my boobs a no-play zone during sex, I was able to handle Lorelai latching and feeding without too much discomfort. Despite being early and small, she has a very strong suck, she was latching well, and by the diapers she was producing, we were doing well.

And then we got home, and it all just fell apart. Honestly, the begi9nning of the end started in the hospital. The night after her hepatitis vaccine, Lorelai started nursing for less time. We had a couple of good nursing sessions our last day in the hospital, but it seemed that she was spending more and more time between sessions, and becoming more prone to nursing herself in very short sessions in order to facilitate sleep. We've only had one good nursing session here at home, and I've been seriously anxious and worried about dehydration and malnutrition. She's had wet diapers since we've been home, and one good stool, but not as much as I'd like to see. No more than her first two days, when she should be doing more. So today we had the first pediatrician visit, and I planned on bringing this up.

Lorelai woke me at 4, and we snuggled on the couch while I was amazed at how gorgeous she is.

We cuddled and played and I offered the breast, but each time it would upset her. She wanted no part of nursing, no matter what holds I tried. I tried hand-expressing colostrum to coat the tips of my nipples and try and entice her to latch with a taste, but it was no go. The inside of her mouth felt dry, her lips were more cracked than they had been the night before, and each unsuccessful attempt made her more and more angry at me. By the time we needed to get ready for her doctor's visit, we were both crying and frustrated on the couch.

At the visit we found she's fallen to 4lbs, 6oz. She appears to be growing more yellow, making me wonder if her jaundice levels are increasing because she's not eating enough to help break down her bilirubin levels from birth. The pediatrician (who is phenomenal, by the way!) took a heel stick to check her bili levels and talked with me about supplementing formula. She mentioned that Lorelai's frustration with nursing could be stemming from her getting tired, and working for the colostrum isn't helping the fatigue levels.

Here's the plan. I'll still offer the breast. If she refuses to nurse or if I don't feel like she is getting enough, I will be giving her formula, and pumping in between nursing sessions/when nursing gets refused to help bring my milk in and build my supply. When my milk has come in strong, we'll start working on weaning her from formula to breastmilk.

I worry a little about nipple confusion and what will happen if she just stops taking the breast. However, I am open to pumping and feeding breastmilk from a bottle if that's what it comes down to. My main concern is that she keeps her strength up so she can focus on growing. We didn't go through all the craziness and pain of this past week of taking her early because of non-growth just for her growth to stall further outside of the womb. *shakes fist*

Those clothes engulfing her? All newborn size. With a little luck and some supplementation, she'll soon fit them the way she should.
And hopefully be a bit less yellow.

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