Dear Doctor, I am sorry.

So it's only been two days since my change in insulin had a very unwelcome reception. I have to say that it's already been better. I don't really remember too much about if yesterday was better or not, but this morning I woke up with a blood glucose level of 89 (4.9), which is great. The doc wants my fasting levels in the morning to be under 95 (5.2). I'm supposed to check two hours after every meal and my blood glucose level then should be under 120 (6.6). We went to the funeral for Matt's grandfather, so I couldn't check my sugars two hours after breakfast, but an hour later while we were getting things ready for lunch, I went hypo. My sugar was 58 (3.2) with the classic symptoms. I got shaky, started feeling strange temperature wise (the only way I can describe it is like there's a cold water bottle in the core of my body, surrounded by warm blankets), and broke out in a little bit of a cold sweat. Since the burgers and hot dogs were on the grill, I filled a plate with potato chips and munched on them. When my sugars go low, it's really hard not to overeat, because I get so hungry. However, after a plate of chips, and a handful more, I decided to remove myself from the vicinity of the chips and I started feeling fine. For lunch I completely pigged out, I made a chili cheeseburger, ate two hot dogs with no bun but topped with tons of spicy chili and mustard, and even got a few more chips to eat the rest of the chili. Oh yeah, I was a total preggo fatty. Two hours later, I was sure my sugar was going to be high and I was already feeling guilty before I even checked. 106 (5.8), nicely under what my doctor would like it to be.

So I think I owe my doctor an apology for losing my shit in her office and being a complete little jerkass about staying on the 70/30. I still don't feel like the 70/30 gives me enough freedom to say, go out for frozen yogurt, loaded up with fruit and nutella like I like. However, I do feel more confident in having a low carb dinner, going for a long walk in the park or in Carytown with Matt and then stopping in for a little cup of froyo with a reasonable amount of toppings added to it. I'm starting to feel like yeah, I can't really have a huge bowl of spaghetti and meatballs for dinner, but I could possibly have a small portion on a plate next to a larger salad.

I'm actually going to try and make my baked mac and cheese, with lots of veggies and chicken added to it, and see how that goes. If I use whole grain or whole wheat pasta, I think I might be able to handle it better. It's weird how much better just two days of better control over my sugars and allowing myself to have some more carbs has made me feel. Food really is very intrinsically linked to my morale.