Blah

Another prenatal visit today. I got a flu shot, and of course there was no change in my insulin. All of my worries were dismissed, and not really addressed. I don't like the way the 70/30 makes me feel like an automoton, they bring up that my numbers are good and she's not worried about me having one that's a bit high here and there. I bring up that the dietician wants me to eat 2-3 servings of carbs per meal and I can't do that without running high and that's dismissed as "well, it's fine that you're not gaining weight in the first trimester."

The doctor, of course a new one because I never see the same one twice, said "if it's not broke, don't fix it." Well okay, but are you sure it's not broke? Because I feel pretty broken.

Once again we couldn't hear the baby on the doppler. This time I was whisked down the hall to an ultrasound room so that they could confirm the heart was beating. Thanks for cooperating baby.

And thanks for taking the time to listen to me, VCU medical center. Every appointment so far has been the same. Look at my blood sugar logs, mention that they still don't have my lab work from the health department and then carry on, business as usual. I'm so lost and confused. Shouldn't I be talking about birth plans or even getting a little understanding about what happens this spring? Is this normal to not have a plan right now because I'm so early? I just wish there was more information, or that I was actually seeing the same doctor every time.

So far pregnancy has not been a friend to me.