The battle continues

Yesterday I upped my insulin to 45 units in the morning because of the high numbers I've been having that haven't been able to be explained by what I've ate. It worked well yesterday so I did another 45 units today. I had a sandwich for breakfast. 180 (10.0) two hours later. Unacceptable, and I really can't figure out why it's so high. It's frustrating, so I had a good, long, ugly cry. I'm getting really fed up with my body, with this disease, and with the 70/30 combination insulin. If I were on a fast acting/NPH separate, I could take a dose to bring that number down, instead of sitting here hungry, debating if it's worth it to eat right now or if I should wait another couple of hours to give my numbers a chance to come down. Fuck it, I'm starving. I ate. I can only imagine what my reading will be in another few hours. I'm going to give myself the nighttime dose of separate NPH before bed tonight to see if that helps my morning sugars beyond just the fasting number.

Gettin' real tired of your shit, diabetes.